Someone once told me that we all have just enough neuroses in our lives to be considered diagnosable. I take comfort in this when I have days that I become self-critical about my work, my outlook in life, or most importantly my relationships. But, to live and care for a person whose life is truly diagnosable is a whole different story. I can say this from personal experience as I try to help an aunt navigate her personal reality that is shaped by fears so large, they have caused her to give up her home, her friends, and to a large degree, her family. I may in fact be the last family member alive that will allow her to live in my home due to her obsession with “people” who are out to get her. Middle of the night trips to the attic to look for unknown villains are becoming common place, as are our daily inspections of small details of the house that have been “changed” in some way.
Today, in trying to help my aunt analyze a current concern, I recalled a personal experience that demonstrated the power of thought in our lives. The incident happened many years ago when I had an old Datsun 310 with at least a quarter of a million miles on it. I loved that car even though it had parts falling off it regularly. One of its’ signs of age was the way the heater worked in the winter (or should I say didn’t work in the winter). In the exact spot each day of my 30-minute commute the heater would begin to work allowing me to warm up just in time for my destination. I had memorized the place that I would be able to warm up on both the morning and afternoon trips and anticipated this as I traveled.
One day, as I pulled into my driveway at home, I was shocked to discover that my toasty warm car was only warm because I believed that it was warm; the heater had never been turned on during this trip. Apparently I had been in deep thought as I was driving home and had turned on my windshield wipers instead of the heater. As I parked and came back to reality, I was curious why the wipers were on and made the discovery that the heat had never been turned on. It was only then that I realized that the car was really quite cold and I was only warm because I believed that I was warm.
Our beliefs really do shape our perceptions of reality- and often leave little room for other possibilities. We could apply this truth to the current political climate in the US where both sides of the political spectrum believe the other is prime evil. We could apply it to our beliefs about a boss or co-worker whom we have decided is incompetent or against us. We can also apply it to what we believe is possible for us; we can only become what we believe we can become. It is good to spend time thinking about what you are thinking. Whether we are conscience of our thoughts or not, they are affecting our lives, work and relationships.
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